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 Jokes, keep 'em clean tho...

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Sicarius
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Number of posts : 23
Age : 43
Localisation : Adelaide, Australia
Registration date : 2006-12-06

PostSubject: Jokes, keep 'em clean tho...   Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:15 am

Christmas Story


'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment


I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!
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Peache

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Number of posts : 20
Age : 47
Registration date : 2006-12-07

PostSubject: Re: Jokes, keep 'em clean tho...   Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:29 am

hehe..If that's clean, I can't wait to hear dirty Shocked
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Swordmaster

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Number of posts : 46
Localisation : Brisbane, Australia
Registration date : 2006-12-07

PostSubject: Re: Jokes, keep 'em clean tho...   Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:47 am

Lol. santa
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Askitz
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Number of posts : 32
Age : 41
Registration date : 2006-12-06

PostSubject: Re: Jokes, keep 'em clean tho...   Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:16 am

Moose Jokes
What has four legs and flies?
A Moose-quito!
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Moose.
Moose who?
Moose be time for another joke!
What do Alaskans celebrate every December?
Chris-Moose!
Who makes up Alaskan nursery rhymes?
Mother Moose!
Who is the most famous Alaskan cartoon character?
Mickey Moose!
What holiday plant do Alaskans kiss under?
Moosel-toe!
Who is the "Father of the North Country"?
George Moosington.
What do you call a sleeping male moose?
A bull-dozer!
Why do moose have such big antlers?
For better radio reception. They're moosic lovers.
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mayomarl
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PostSubject: im adding on to kitzy's,   Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:49 am

what do peache and merlin use for their computers?

Moosepads
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Peache

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Number of posts : 20
Age : 47
Registration date : 2006-12-07

PostSubject: Re: Jokes, keep 'em clean tho...   Sat Dec 16, 2006 4:17 am

Ha Ha Ha!!!
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exavieor

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Number of posts : 10
Localisation : Florida, USA
Registration date : 2006-12-19

PostSubject: Re: Jokes, keep 'em clean tho...   Thu Dec 21, 2006 8:12 am

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was dead.

Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree?
It was pushed.

Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree?
It thought it was a game.

Why'd the tree fall down?
It was dead.

Why'd the second tree fall down?
It thought it was a monkey.

Why'd the third tree fall down?
Peer pressure.
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Tully



Number of posts : 4
Registration date : 2007-03-18

PostSubject: Re: Jokes, keep 'em clean tho...   Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:18 am

A Pirate walks into a Bar wearing a hat made out of a paper towel.
The landlord asks "What are you wearing that for?"
The Pirate replies "Arrrr, I've got a Bounty on me head"
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