ok, pete held up his part of the deal so i suppose i HAVE TO

Even the thunder couldn’t drown out their screams.

I was sixteen when they took me from my parent’s home in Daiamon, it was "the prime age" because girls were thought to be old enough and smart enough to travel by themselves, if the need for it ever came up. I was taken to become a servant girl for Queen Isolde Fairchild. Her previous serving girls had mysteriously disappeared whilst running a perfectly harmless errand, or so I’d been told. "They probably ran away"…Yah, right.

The servants snatched me right out of my bed and brought me to the castle, handing me over to some big manly nursemaids to be de-loused. It seemed that more than one girl had disappeared, because there were about fifty girls in the castle all together. The queen had very high standards; and more girls were needed to choose from. We were taken to a small room where a gruff looking old man was waiting, with scissors and a razor, he said" Tis necessary girls that your heads are shaven, can’t take any chances with the lice you know", with a smile and a wink. The other girls were all panicky and frantic about losing their hair, some were crying. I was the last girl brought in to the castle, but I was the first one up to be shaved. One of the nurses prodded me forward roughly and sat me down on the chair. I just closed my eyes and sat, it was only hair, after all. Shortly after the head shaving, we were stripped down and thrown into cold bathing pools, even with no hair we were at risk of bringing lice. After the whole cleansing process was over, we were quickly measured, and given clean clothes along with a scarf to wrap around our newly shaven heads. This left me with an odd feeling though, as I got dressed the supervising nursemaid gave me a queer look and rushed off somewhere. It was very uncomfortable, and maybe it’s just me, but that kind of behavior never leads to anything good. This was soon to be found out.

"Bring her to me, and show me this mark you speak of." I could hear a very demanding woman speaking a room down the hallway. It didn’t take very long to realize that I was in Queen Isolde’s chambers. The maid pulled me into the room, spun me around and lifted up my shift, revealing my birthmark to everyone in the room. They all gasped, "It’s just a birthmark…had it since I was a wee babe" I said with a smug grin. "Shush! Let me think about this…" The meeting took forever, the whole time full of them poking and prodding at me, and mumbled discussion which I could not hear. "As you are clearly a mage," she started "we shall send you away next spring. Until then we shall teach you to speak properly and make yourself presentable to the Headmaster Lord Alder. He will not accept such an atrocious student. Ellanore, you may take her away now. I must begin my letter to Lord Alder immediately." Again the nursemaid called Ellanore grabbed a hold of me and pushed me through the doorway, down to the end of the hallway to a small room, she really was a brute of a woman. All the while we were walking, I asked questions on top of questions about the situation, but she had no answers for me, and instead of trying to answer them she just told me to shut up. Inside my room there was dusty furniture and a small bed with nothing on it. She turned to me, "This is your room for now Silvia, I shall have one of the other maids bring you some bedding, and your personal things from home later on. Also, the fitter will be here shortly." I looked at her quizzically "Erm... Fitter, ma’am?" "My Oath girl, do you really not know what a fitter is?" I shook my head and turned my eyes to the floor; I’d not even known her for more than a few hours and already she had made me feel ashamed. "Oh dear, you’ve got a lot to learn …" With that she rushed off and didn’t say another word. I looked around, nothing special about the room, unless you counted half an inch of dust on everything to be special, although … it was really good for drawing pictures in.

Soon a feeble looking old man came into the room with a pincushion on his wrist, following him were two girls with arms full of assorted fabrics. They had all the colors I’d ever dreamed of, and more!

I learned quickly that being fitted was horrible, standing completely still for two hours while a senile, half-blind, shaky-handed, blundering fool of an old man was sticking pins every place imaginable, including once in a while, me! It was extremely uncomfortable. Thank goodness that I only had to be fitted once, as the man could make more dresses from the measurements of the first. Later on, the head maid Giselle came for me. She was a very large woman, close to being manly, the queen certainly had an odd taste in maids. She was at least 6 feet tall, with broad shoulders and muscular arms. Her voice was deep and thick with a foreign accent. "The Queen would like for you to being working on your mannerisms with me. Come now."

I worried when we got there. I saw an enormously long table, already set with plates and cutlery. It was beautiful, and there were so many things to look at, yet the first thing I noticed was a rather thick whip-like object. "Silvia, there are two things you must remember. First, when I ask you a question, you answer everything with ‘Miss at the end. Second, do well and you shall be rewarded, do poorly and you shall be whipped. Let us begin! Have a seat please." She had a small grin, and I knew she was going to enjoy this just as much, if not more, as I was not. "Now," she asked, "While dining at a table with Royals, where and when do you sit?" I hesitated, in my home, the woman of the house first, then the husband, then children in order of birth. I replied, " I wait until the Queen, and everyone else sits down, and I sit wherever I am told.... Miss!" I almost forgot about that. It was hard not to be nervous when such a hard woman was glaring at you. "Good" This was going to be a piece of cake.

A few hours of mannerism training later, which had turned out to be much harder than I had expected, and in turn lead to many whippings, my whole back side was covered in welts. I wanted nothing more than to go to bed. When I got back to the room I was pleasantly surprised. The dust was all gone, the wood polished and my bed had been made.

There were ten dresses in my closet, along with as many or more pairs of stockings, boots, a few cloaks. I had never owned such nice things, I was overwhelmed and started to weep. Never having those things reminded me of home. More tears came. There was a note on the bed from the first maid I was with, Ellanore. I read it to distract myself.

Silvia, you will be told this only once, and will be expected to remember everything. There is a schedule for what clothes to wear each day. Also, as you may have noticed, along with the clothes, we have provided you with a mirror, hair accessories, make up, and jewelry. On the schedule there is a plan for how you are to wear these things. The Queen expects nothing more, and nothing less than what you are shown. We shall have one of the maids, Diana, in to show you how to wear each item properly, you will be judged each day until we are confident that you will not make mistakes. Tomorrow shall be your first judgment each thing improperly worn will be punished. And I am sure you remember how that feels. Diana will come at first light and you are expected to be up and washed by then.

That was certainly a lot to remember, and there was much, much more after that, more complex and intricate things. But I was determined not to let her wear my spirit down, I did not want to be molded in their hands, and I would not.

The months went by quickly, and it seemed as though only a week ago I was just a young farm girl who had been kidnapped from her bed to be a slave for the rest of her life. My things were quickly packed and loaded into the carriage. I was finally on my way to be handed over to Lord Alder, whoever he was.

It turns out that Lord Alder was the headmaster at the School of Magic in Lanreen. I had heard about the school, but only in tales my parents had told me, and never thought that it was real. I didn’t believe in magic, and still didn’t until I got into the school. There were so many people there, every classroom was filled with students, most of them young like myself. I was only slightly nervous, but Ellanore was with me, and even though she was strict with discipline and whipped me at least once a day for something, she was a comfort to have there. "Silvia, hurry up and don’t gape. We have to dress properly, but we will not unpack yet. We will then go to the main hall and meet with Lord Alder, he will decide whether or not you are worthy enough to be taught here." We rushed into our guest room, I tried to dress myself but Ellanore didn’t see any of the clothes I had picked to be presentable enough for Lord Alder, not the make-up I picked, not the shoes I picked, or anything else for that matter, she ended up dressing me completely. It must be a pain to have to be perfect all the time. As we went to the main hall, the classes were completely silent, but there was a distant noise down a ways. Everyone was gathered in the large room, long tables with about fifty chairs each were filled with students and teachers, "Silvia, we’re sitting over here, with Lindy." Ellanore pointed at a small round table, with a woman Ellanore’s age, and a few nervous looking children, I had a feeling they didn’t want to be here either.

"Ah, Ellanore you old bag! I received your letter last week, and I was ever so delighted to hear that you had a new student for me" Ellanore didn’t bother to introduce me. They smiled and hugged, then teased each other while I sat down at the table. Some people had a strange way of showing affection for one another. It was very noisy in the room, people had to yell to the person sitting next to them. Shortly, the tallest man I had ever seen stood up. He had a large walking stick with an amber orb on the end. "Welcome all. I am pleased this day to welcome ten new faces to our school, all of which are young ladies," Near the back a young man stood up and started to clap and hoot, everyone laughed. "Yes, yes calm down Lander, you can meet them later on. That is, IF they succeed in passing the initiation. Let me see who is first, ah yes, Ellanore Danes my friend, please bring your student to the front." My heart was pounding hard and fast. I didn’t want to go first. I didn’t want to be here anymore, I didn’t move. "Silvia! Are you coming with me or not? Everyone is waiting." I blushed and stood up quickly following Ellanore to the podium where Lord Alder sat. He slowly made his way over to me, "What is your name?" "Silvia.." "I’m sorry, you’ll have to speak up" "Oh sorry, Silvia Keenan, sir." "A pretty name for a pretty girl, how nice. May I see your birthmark?" I looked at Ellanore and whispered, "I need your help!" she looked at me quizzically, "Help? With what?" I quickly went over to her and spoke quietly. "I’m wearing a dress, I can’t show my birthmark…" She turned to him, "Oh! Lord Alder, you’ll have to excuse my forgetfulness. I had clean forgotten that her birthmark was on her back. We can go and change quickly, if it’s necessary that you see it." "No, that is quite alright. We shall just do it the long way." He sent one of his personal servants to get something, the boy brought back a black orb that seemed to steal the light away from everything near it. Lord Alder took it from the boy’s hands and placed it in a shallow bowl of silver liquid that seemed to dance before my eyes.

"Silvia, place your hands on either side of the orb please, now, close your eyes and keep them closed. Good, concentrate on a small black circle. Now, imagine the circle growing long threads out of it, focus on those growing, longer and longer." I focused hard, determined not to fail, and soon my mind became blank, and it was almost like I had left my body. I heard nothing and felt nothing, I was, nothing. Lost between reality and fantasy, I was a sense of being, floating….falling…

I jolted back, and my memory crashed into my mind painfully. "Are you alright?" Lord Alder was standing in front of me "Yes… my lord." "Good then. So how was it?" "I’m not sure, it doesn’t make any sense, because I was there, and I know I was, but "there" wasn’t …there. I’m really quite confused about the whole thing." He chuckled and nodded, "Come with me please, Silvia. Ellanore, will you be joining us for tea?" "Yes of course, but, my Lord, aren’t you forgetting something? " He gave her a confused look, and quirked his eyebrow, she started to point at me discreetly and mouthed the words "Is she in?" He flung his arms wide and turned to the rest of the school "Good news everyone, Silvia Keenan has passed and will be joining our school this year. Congratulations Silvia!" After the ceremony the main hall emptied quickly, it seemed five times larger when no one was in it. Lord Alder and his train led us away to his personal lounge. We sat and had a long discussion of the plan for me. What teachers I would work with, when I would start, things like that. We drank tea late into the afternoon. It turns out I was quite strong in magic, which, for someone who didn’t even believe in magic, was quite a shock. Ellanore and I were taken to my new room, in which there were two beds. She was going to stay with me for my first year, because she herself was going to be taking classes, probably in how to discipline your children even more.

It was still a relief that I wouldn’t be alone, otherwise I knew I would have, because already I could tell that I didn’t fit in with these other girls. Most of them were rich and snooty princesses, a bit too snooty for my liking. As the weeks went by I found that there were quite a large number of students like myself. Most of them were boys, which didn’t please Ellanore all too much, but she eventually got used to it. My first half of school went really well. My classes were quite simple for me, and I had made tons of friends. I had two new best friends, Juliana, and Tibore. But Tibore eventually became more than just a friend. We were let out for holiday break, and things were really starting to look good. Break went by quickly and before I knew it I was back at school, eager to see everyone again and start my classes. When we got there though, things took a turn for the worst.

* * * * *

They were Spanish raiders, and they called themselves the Signori Di Magia ; The Lords of Magic. They broke into the school and took everyone prisoner. Lord Alder and the other teachers, and a few of the more experienced students tried to fight them off, but they weren’t strong enough. The raiders had mastered two powerful spells that could destroy or block out others magic. Everyone was captured, and all of those who were weak in magic were slaughtered, the rest taken as slaves, boys for labor, girls for another more personal use. I had never felt so violated and embarrassed in all my life. They spoke in their own language when talking amongst each other, but I figured it out what their plan easily enough. When they came to my tent in the middle of the night, I took myself elsewhere in my mind, small paradise in the fiery hell that had become my life. The raiders decided that there was nothing in the town of interest to them anymore. They had gotten what they wanted, and started a massacre. While they destroyed everything in sight, the rain poured and thick black clouds brought lightning.
Loud as it was, even the thunder couldn’t drown out their screams. Days after we left the village, I could still hear them. My Silent Torture.

* * * * *

He stood up on the podium and shouted "Raiders! It has been one year and I feel the pull of the ocean, it tears at me strongly. We go back to sea at dawn! But for now, we celebrate! Per sempre i Signori Di Magia conquisteranno!" Damian came down from on top of the carriage, the raiders all cheered like thunder. I was amazed at how so many people, especially the older men, listened to him. He was no older than twenty-four, and quite handsome for being such a horrible person. I know I shouldn’t be having feelings for someone so cold and evil…Out of the group of men that I "belonged" to, he was the only one who never laid a hand on me. All he did was ask me questions. It takes a long time to forget the things he did, but at least the screams and nightmares stopped. Damian started to walk over to the cart. Being with them so long, I picked up the language quickly. "Silvia, I want to ask you a question." I said nothing, just because I was attracted to him didn’t mean I had to talk to him. He sighed and rolled his eyes, as if he had expected that reaction, "You are a very beautiful young woman, and I want to be my soltanto." My eyes grew big and my jaw dropped. I wasn’t ready for marriage! I knew that he was serious, the look in his eyes was desperate and longing, the passion there swallowed me. I awoke hours later, in a dark tent lined with animal skins. They were so soft. Where was I? What happened? "My love?" I turned around, Damian was there "Are you alright?" he leaned in close, "You fainted, so I brought you here, to my tent." "Oh…" I didn’t know what to say, how could I marry him? Our knowledge of one another barely scratched the surface of our lives. "So, will you be my soltanto Silvia? Please? I have watched you throughout the year, and what about our talks? I just know you are the one for me."

Again his face was so desperate, and I felt nothing but love from him.. "Yes… I will" His face lit up, he held my face and pulled me close, my first kiss. All the memories of the things he had done just melted away He lifted me to my feet and rushed outside, dragging me along. Was this the right thing to do? The wedding had to wait though, we sailed across the sea to India, because I had told him of how I had always dreamed of going there. We went to a holy temple and got married. Everything else started to go by in a flash, before I had my 18th birthday I gave birth to my first child, Thomas. The next year I had a set of twins, Analise and Rosemarie. When the girls were born Damian thought it best to settle down and raise them properly. He had promised to stop raiding and traveling, at lest until the children were gone. He took us back to Spain, and we found out that his father had died a few weeks ago. Damian was asked to become king, and he accepted. After the ceremony, we lived in a life of luxury. It was better than any fairytale I had ever read or heard. Except in the beginning, the part where my husband’s troops killed everyone I had ever known, or taken them as slaves. I felt so bad being happy here, so I prayed for those who had passed on every night. Soon the day came when our children had grown up, they had left the castle and went out to get jobs, once more it was just Damian and I. He came to me one night, to have a discussion. "Silvia, you are my soul mate and I love you very much, so I would ask of you one small thing." "What is it Damian, is something the matter?" "Well, you see, it has just been so many years since we have sailed. The sea calls me once more, and I won’t go for long, I promise I w…" "You want to raid again. I thought you might have gotten over it, I thought you might have changed! I see now that I was wrong…" I couldn’t help but shout at him, there was something deep inside of me boiled. I think he had absolutely no clue of the pain it caused to others, or maybe he just didn’t care. He looked down and walked over to the door, he motioned for me to come sit with him on the bench out side on the balcony. I did, reluctantly though, and I sat to the far edge.

His expression was filled with pain. " Silvia, do you think I am a monster? Of course I know how it is! I used to feel the exact same way as you did, but it has become a part of my life. My father was a raider, that is how he gained his power and became the king of Spain! Even my mother learned that the power of it, and the rush of the battle is like a drug. But it is a thousand times more addicting than even the most powerful one. Will you try it just once for me? I beg of you, please?"

I had always heard that love made people do crazy things, and now I know that it’s true. What else could have made me to agree to accompany him on a raid, to kill people? This would be my first and last time, I hope… If this "rush" was as powerful and Damian said, how could I know if it would take over me and make me one of them? It wouldn’t be long until I found out. I had become used to being on a ship, and it was almost natural to me, but the closer we got to this new land the more my stomach twisted and turned. Unlike myself, Damian grew more and more excited, he couldn’t wait to get on his horse and ride into battle, the power tugged at him, and I could feel it. We arrived at this place, unknown to everyone on the ship. It was dangerous to ride into completely foreign territory, especially when you were riding in to fight, but it added to their anxiousness. The only thing they knew was that the foreigners of the land knew we were coming, and would be waiting there to fight us. We had to get as close as possible to the shore to get the horses off the ship, we did this quickly and set up for the battle. The energy in the camp was wild, it made me frightened to see men so death-hungry. For me it was a restless night, and it took eons for morning to come. Along with a dozen men, I went up on the hilltop. They were only there to watch and guard the ship, I was just there to watch. Damian was easy to pick out of the crowd, out in the front with brilliantly colored armor, my shining knight. There were other men, hundreds of spans across the field. Their, army was one thousand against our two, and we had hundreds of mages.

It seemed that every man of the opposing army was armed with shields and swords, or pitchforks, there was no sign of magic among them. Damian started to yellhis battle cry, powerful and masculine, it sent shivers running down my spine. Soon the rest of the men joined in , I thought to myself quietly. ‘The Signori Di Magia would have their victory, after which Damian and I could go home and stay there…right?’

No.

* * * * *

At first, the Signori Di Magia seemed to be winning. Their horsemen ran through slashing and stabbing with long swords or sharpened poles of steel. Our mages killed men two, even three men at time, and those on foot were the best swordsmen in all the land, but things weren’t going as planned. There was something more than the eye could see, I could feel a very strong mage fighting somewhere in the midst of it all. Our men started to drop in large numbers, four or five in a group just suddenly fell. I started to panic because I couldn’t see Damian anymore. I turned and began to run down, I knew that the whole thing might be over by the time I had reached the field, it was over five miles away. I collapsed three times on my journey, worry and fatigue plaguing me, but I was almost there. Our men had won, either the whole other army was dead or captured. I asked everyone about Damian, but no one answered, they just cast their eyes down and kept walking. He must be dead, there was no other reason for them to not answer my questions, he was gone. I found his body after three hours of I dropped to the ground, rocking. There was nothing left for me on this earth to live for.

I couldn’t go on….

* * * * *

As I stood at the edge of the cliff, I heard their shouts from below, all whispers in a thunderstorm, unheard and uncared for. The voices in my own head overriding every though with grief and agony, the pain was too much. I could feel my heart tearing itself to pieces, my soul bursting through the useless flesh. I glanced back and thought about everything I had ever lived for. Without Damian I would never be happy. I closed my eyes and gave myself to the earth.